Getting Over "Being Fat"

I had a thought yesterday - what if I never loose the weight? Can I be happy with myself?  Part of having PCOS, for me, makes it extremely impossible difficult to loose weight. I had a conversation with my husband about how I am seriously addicted to food. I grew up in a very large family (18 kids), and although we never went to bed starving, there were few times that we had, what I call, "good food". I got my fair share of corn flakes and powdered milk. I still, to this very day, refuse to drink powdered milk. Whenever something good would come into our home - marshmallow cereal for example, it would be gone that very day. We could not share it with anyone else, we had to have as much of it as we could. I would probably call myself a food hoarder now. I just love having "good" food around. And that doesn't always mean that it is good-healthy food, either. I have a hard time eating no sugar, or passing up a white roll. And it is especially hard when I don't see any results, even after weeks of exercise and trying to eat healthy. I get discouraged and give up. I try and keep in the back of my mind, however, that I have done this once. I can do it again. Right?

I need help. I need accountability. I need YOU to share any ideas, hope, advice, or love that can help me get through this. Even if it's telling me to quit body shaming myself, to stop feeling so embarrassed whenever I go out in public. I feel like I can do anything if I put my mind to it, usually, but this time, I really have doubts. Can you help me?