Help, I've fallen!

Oh hey guys... Is anyone still here?

Well I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. I haven't exactly been on top of maintaining this or my health as of late. I am going to give you first a rundown update. I am usually one who really tries to stay positive, or at least look positive, even or most especially when I am feeling negative. But I feel like I need to be real and honest.

I just can not seem to pull myself together to stay on track. it is basically the story of my life. See, I have this tendency to make plans, have it all laid out, I'll even do some prep work, and maybe do real good for a few days and then WHABAM! 9 months fly by and I am sitting here eating pizza being lazy and unproductive. Granted, I did take on a full time job and am still in school part time, so I am busy. The truth is, when I am not busy and have a few moments to myself, the last thing I want to do is go have a workout or do some meal prep or planning. Everything is on the go, what is convenient, and what feels good after a long stressful day. I haven't taken my Insulite labs pills, they are sitting in my cupboard begging my ovaries to give them another chance. I hadn't had my period in probably about 5 months and just had it about a month ago. I think I've gained about 10-15 more pounds, I feel more stressed about life and work, I am tired, I criticize myself too much, and I have not done very much at all in the way of doing better. I am not doing good folks, not doing good at all.

On top of it, I am disappointed in myself for not sticking to it, for not being persistent, and for not getting back on track quicker than 9 months later. The thing that makes me crazy is that I KNOW what to do. I KNOW the nutritional science behind what is happening. I KNOW what I am doing is not helping. I KNOW the benefits of exercise and eating right. I KNOW if I just did it, that it would work. I am not sure why I hold myself back. Its almost like something in me does not want to go forward. I don't think I am afraid of success, but I do think I am afraid of the extra responsibilities and afraid of the pain or unknown changes that I'll have to deal with. I am way too uncomfortably comfortable where I am. I like pizza and cheese and ice cream. I like sitting on the couch and being mindless for a few hours. But I also hate it.

Whew. So there you have it. One more experience of failing and letting myself down.

But it is not the end. I still have some fight in me. There is still hope. The thing is, I can't do it on my own. I could really use some support, your support, whoever is still reading this. In a demanding sort of way, I need you to consistently tell me I can do it and give me praises when I have little victories. I feel like on the inside of me, I should be able to do it on my own. Show myself I've got power and discipline and that there is no backing down or no excuse that is valid enough to make me quit. Someday I might be able to get there, but right now I need you.

Lead into next post ---> Getting Back up

Starting Over

I have been kicking myself for the last year. I have known better, and still I have let myself gain weight. I can make excuses - I have a sit down job, I commute almost 2 hours every day, I am in graduate school and have to keep myself awake in my late classes somehow, and it's hard to fit exercise in. I ended up purchasing the 21 day Fix program, and I did really great for the first week and a few days. Then my drive failed, and life got busy, and I kept finding excuses to put it off. No matter how determined I feel, it gets hard. When the scale doesn't budge, or there are cupcakes on my counter. When squeezing in a work out takes more effort than actually doing the workout, it gets hard. I continually need to recommit myself, over and over. I continually need to remember that I have done this before. I remember how hard it was, but I also remember how great it was when I achieved success in weight loss. I can do this again. You can do this. Can we do it together?

Dam the Wagon!

"I've fallen off the wagon."

Ever heard this phrase? Ever use this phrase? Don't you sometimes want to push the wagon off cliff (after you have fallen out of course!) so that you CAN'T fall off anymore?

Well I am here to suggest that you STOP (thus the dam) and don't get on the wagon in the first place. Here is what I mean by that: usually when we say we are going to lose weight and change ourselves, we are only really thinking short-term. We go on a hard core strict diet that we simply cannot follow for very long and wind up on our backs. In the dirt. With chocolate all over our face.

If we really want to change, it can't be temporary. Often change is a slow process that makes us feel like ripping our hair out because it is taking so dang long. We want results NOW! We want to lose that extra 20 pounds yesterday, and in that process we can be pretty darn mean and harsh to our bodies.

This is what I want to emphasize right now: BE NICE to yourself! Go at your own pace. Make small changes. Push yourself but don't expect yourself to do everything all at once and expect your body (but probably mostly your mind!) to be able to handle it overnight. I am a pretty high strung person, and I will tell you that I have this strong urge to change everything. Go big or go home. All in! But I have also seen myself fall flat on my face too many times, and I know this strategy is only going to frustrate me more.

So, if you want that yummy piece of chocolate, then have it! But instead of having 2 or the whole bag, just really enjoy that one piece, put the bag back and walk away, or even better go for a walk to get your mind somewhere else!

If you tell yourself "I can never have chocolate or pizza or ice cream or hamburgers or bread or cake or white rice ever again!," then what are you going to find yourself wanting more than all the veggies combined? Those foods. Now you might have to let them disappear out of your mind for a little while at first to get the junk and toxins out of your body, but if you are a lover of bread you are going to want it eventually. In my own opinion, I think it is better to work your favorite foods in while eating healthy the rest of the time. Now, there may actually come a day when you realize you don't want those foods because you will be able to see the effect they have on your body and you just don't want them anymore. I've heard of that happening, and if it does embrace it!

If you do go way overboard, I read this suggestion from somewhere (sorry I can't remember the source):
    -Drink lots of water first thing in the morning. The water will help flush the bad stuff out.
    -Eat mostly veggies and lean protein the whole day and try to leave out fats.
    -Make sure to exercise and maybe work out a little harder or a little longer

Don't overdo it, and don't do it as a way to punish your body. It isn't about punishing, it is about providing the extra care your body needs.

BE NICE!