Getting Back Up

Okay, so here is part two of my posting today.

I decided to go through my Insulite Labs booklet they gave me from when I first started the system and reminded myself about some of the simple things I can do to get started again.

I am glad I did because there were things in it that I had forgotten. In it, it talks a lot about insulin resistance and why it is so hard to lose weight and so easy to gain. Basically if you have insulin resistance, your cells don't have enough insulin receptors to properly utilize glucose. So the glucose is essentially floating around and getting stored as extra body fat. Add a high carbohydrate/sugar diet that most of us probably have, means more and more is being stored. It also talks about how our brains are really sensitive to food stimuli and that eating can easily become something we do to dull pain and to create comfort (releasing serotonin) which creates a circuit in your brain to repeat the same action again and again that can lead to not only a habit but also an addiction thereby increasing the problem of weight gain and insulin resistance. Hopefully you got that in, that was a long sentence.

So this is where nutrition and supplements come in and why they came up with their formula to help alleviate the symptoms of PCOS and insulin resistance and to change patterns of behavior slowly to prevent a really bad rebound. (Like what I did.. haha) The pills will help your body get the nutrients it has been lacking to repair the dis-functioning cells and to get back in the healthy egg making business. I love that this is what the company stands for. Using vitamins and nutrients instead of synthetic weird substances that do the work so the body doesn't have to. But I don't need to get into that. :)

Then it goes on to explain good food sources for PCOS, and basically it is high quality protein, low carb, lots of green veggies, and good fats. I'll post about that here. Then to add in exercise, and doing things that create a sense of belonging and service to others to combat the addiction part.

You guys, after reading through it I could practically feel my body screaming for that kind of food and lifestyle. The other thing that I just want to say as the final word in this post is that these changes will not come easy. I am not going to quit sugar or carbs cold turkey. But I do need to gradually eat less and less of them until it is under control. One of the things it suggested is to look at you plate for what you eat now and then gradually replace the carbs with more veggies, like this:

Seems so much more simple when you look at it like that right!? I thought so. 

So, today I feel motivated to get on some sort of track. Maybe not a path of perfection, but a path of slow easy does it kind of path. I am just gonna try to put more green veggies on my plate. :)

Read about what foods the Insulite Labs recommends here.

Help, I've fallen!

Oh hey guys... Is anyone still here?

Well I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. I haven't exactly been on top of maintaining this or my health as of late. I am going to give you first a rundown update. I am usually one who really tries to stay positive, or at least look positive, even or most especially when I am feeling negative. But I feel like I need to be real and honest.

I just can not seem to pull myself together to stay on track. it is basically the story of my life. See, I have this tendency to make plans, have it all laid out, I'll even do some prep work, and maybe do real good for a few days and then WHABAM! 9 months fly by and I am sitting here eating pizza being lazy and unproductive. Granted, I did take on a full time job and am still in school part time, so I am busy. The truth is, when I am not busy and have a few moments to myself, the last thing I want to do is go have a workout or do some meal prep or planning. Everything is on the go, what is convenient, and what feels good after a long stressful day. I haven't taken my Insulite labs pills, they are sitting in my cupboard begging my ovaries to give them another chance. I hadn't had my period in probably about 5 months and just had it about a month ago. I think I've gained about 10-15 more pounds, I feel more stressed about life and work, I am tired, I criticize myself too much, and I have not done very much at all in the way of doing better. I am not doing good folks, not doing good at all.

On top of it, I am disappointed in myself for not sticking to it, for not being persistent, and for not getting back on track quicker than 9 months later. The thing that makes me crazy is that I KNOW what to do. I KNOW the nutritional science behind what is happening. I KNOW what I am doing is not helping. I KNOW the benefits of exercise and eating right. I KNOW if I just did it, that it would work. I am not sure why I hold myself back. Its almost like something in me does not want to go forward. I don't think I am afraid of success, but I do think I am afraid of the extra responsibilities and afraid of the pain or unknown changes that I'll have to deal with. I am way too uncomfortably comfortable where I am. I like pizza and cheese and ice cream. I like sitting on the couch and being mindless for a few hours. But I also hate it.

Whew. So there you have it. One more experience of failing and letting myself down.

But it is not the end. I still have some fight in me. There is still hope. The thing is, I can't do it on my own. I could really use some support, your support, whoever is still reading this. In a demanding sort of way, I need you to consistently tell me I can do it and give me praises when I have little victories. I feel like on the inside of me, I should be able to do it on my own. Show myself I've got power and discipline and that there is no backing down or no excuse that is valid enough to make me quit. Someday I might be able to get there, but right now I need you.

Lead into next post ---> Getting Back up

Maintaining

Hello there! Back from the dead - or at least the non-blogging world. But I have a REALLY good excuse! I got married last weekend! Wahoo!! Most amazing, happy, stressful time of my life! And let me tell you, concentrating on what I was eating and doing exercise was not at the top of my to do lists on any day. You know the LGN diet? Yeah... Didn't have time. The good news is, I have learned some things, and I have a long way to go before I can get back to where I was. Good thing y'all will be here for that journey, and to help keep me on track. (Hopefully someone, somewhere, is reading this and will help me feel accountable.....)
Things I have learned about myself:

• If I don't have a goal, nothing will get done. 
• I have to make it a priority to eat right and exercise
• I stress eat. A lot. 
• I feel crappy when I don't eat healthy. Crappy being exhausted, tired, crabby, etc. 
• Once you fall off the bandwagon, it's hard to jump back on. (see an earlier post from Crystal here.)
• I love being married, and I want to be healthier and happier for my new husband!

I don't think anything I learned is something that is quite new, just reminders about who I am, and how I want to do things. So, here are my goals:

• Start eating healthy again.
• Start exercising regularly again.
• Find positive self affirmations that will help me feel better about myself.

Not-health-related-goals:

• Find something nice to do for my husband everyday
• Never speak badly about anyone - including those I love the most. 

So, there we go. I started a new life, and now I have new goals. Here's to achieving them! 

Dam the Wagon!

"I've fallen off the wagon."

Ever heard this phrase? Ever use this phrase? Don't you sometimes want to push the wagon off cliff (after you have fallen out of course!) so that you CAN'T fall off anymore?

Well I am here to suggest that you STOP (thus the dam) and don't get on the wagon in the first place. Here is what I mean by that: usually when we say we are going to lose weight and change ourselves, we are only really thinking short-term. We go on a hard core strict diet that we simply cannot follow for very long and wind up on our backs. In the dirt. With chocolate all over our face.

If we really want to change, it can't be temporary. Often change is a slow process that makes us feel like ripping our hair out because it is taking so dang long. We want results NOW! We want to lose that extra 20 pounds yesterday, and in that process we can be pretty darn mean and harsh to our bodies.

This is what I want to emphasize right now: BE NICE to yourself! Go at your own pace. Make small changes. Push yourself but don't expect yourself to do everything all at once and expect your body (but probably mostly your mind!) to be able to handle it overnight. I am a pretty high strung person, and I will tell you that I have this strong urge to change everything. Go big or go home. All in! But I have also seen myself fall flat on my face too many times, and I know this strategy is only going to frustrate me more.

So, if you want that yummy piece of chocolate, then have it! But instead of having 2 or the whole bag, just really enjoy that one piece, put the bag back and walk away, or even better go for a walk to get your mind somewhere else!

If you tell yourself "I can never have chocolate or pizza or ice cream or hamburgers or bread or cake or white rice ever again!," then what are you going to find yourself wanting more than all the veggies combined? Those foods. Now you might have to let them disappear out of your mind for a little while at first to get the junk and toxins out of your body, but if you are a lover of bread you are going to want it eventually. In my own opinion, I think it is better to work your favorite foods in while eating healthy the rest of the time. Now, there may actually come a day when you realize you don't want those foods because you will be able to see the effect they have on your body and you just don't want them anymore. I've heard of that happening, and if it does embrace it!

If you do go way overboard, I read this suggestion from somewhere (sorry I can't remember the source):
    -Drink lots of water first thing in the morning. The water will help flush the bad stuff out.
    -Eat mostly veggies and lean protein the whole day and try to leave out fats.
    -Make sure to exercise and maybe work out a little harder or a little longer

Don't overdo it, and don't do it as a way to punish your body. It isn't about punishing, it is about providing the extra care your body needs.

BE NICE!

Motivation

When I first heard my diagnosis, I was completely ready to do anything it took to be healthy, and try to heal my body. That was 2 years, 5 months, and 22 days ago. Or 907 days, or, 21,744 hours, or 1,304,640 minutes have past since that moment. Time. Time that I have done things. And time that I have gotten tired of fighting.

I am a stubborn person. I get what I want. I try to be nice about it, but I have a hard time hearing no. But there are somethings that you cannot get, no matter how hard you try. I cannot beat PCOS from sheer determination. It helps, but I have to have patience, motivation, and a persistence. Eventually, I got tired of fighting. I forgot the feeling I had while sitting in the examination room. Or the fear when I saw the doctors face and realized it was more than just a routine thing. I have become relaxed in my fight. This is why it's so important to make these changes, and make them for life.

March 2011               March 2012                July 2013

I sometimes catch myself thinking, If I quit eating sugar and other simple carbs, and loose ten more pounds, my body will be great, and then I can eat those things again. It's hard to change things about yourself permanently. Besides being stubborn, I hate change. I resist it. I fight against it. Eventually I can accept it. This is what I am working on now. I need to run everyday. Every meal needs to be healthy. I cannot eat a whole bag of gummi worms, or chocolate, or a whole carton of ice cream anymore. No matter how good those donuts smell, I cannot have one. This is a lifestyle change, not a change for a few weeks, or months. We do this because it is healthy. Not just because we want to loose the weight.

I have come too far to back slide. And I still have a long way to go. I have figured out a few things that have worked for me. Things that get me out of bed, that stop me from grabbing that cookie, and things that get me to the gym, or pounding the pavement.

• Set goals - these have to be doable. If it's just not eating sugar for just ONE day, and that is all you can do right now, then do it! Set long term goals, and then short term goals. Set goals for one day at a time. Along with these goals, write down why you want to do this, what it is that you want to achieve. 
• Hold yourself accountable, report to someone if you need to. Keep a journal. Write down what you eat, when you exercise, things you do to resist the temptation, and go back and read it! 
• Give yourself rewards. If you were good for a day, buy yourself a new Mp3, or nail polish. Or if you made it a week or two, get a new movie or buy yourself flowers. 
• Find an exercise that you at least like to do, if not love. There's yoga, zumba, crossfit, running, walking, biking, swimming, and even Jillian Michael's workout videos. I'll admit it, I was ashamed to go to the gym once, so I did videos in the safety of my home. I am not an exercise expert or anything, but I can tell you that the recommended cardio workout is about 30 minutes a day, with muscle-strengthening exercises a couple of times a week. I would suggest doing at least 45 minutes of cardio if you can. Even if you have to walk around for the last 15. You can do this!
• Get an exercise buddy. If someone is up early, waiting for you, you are more likely to get out of bed!
• Fast paced workout music has saved me. I love 80's, angry girl music, boy bands... Anything with a  fast beat that will get me going.
• Realize that this is going to be hard. That in a few days, or weeks you are going to hit that wall. You are going to crave sugar and carbs like you will not believe. You will want to give up. You will honestly be weighing the pros and cons in your head. Something that meant so much to you just a few weeks ago, is going to seem way too hard, and not worth it anymore. Fight back. Drink more water. Talk yourself through it. Call someone. This is worth it. You are worth it. Look back at your goals, and your journal. You've come so far! 

We are all human. We are not perfect, but we can do hard things if we are determined enough. Change is hard. But anyone can do it, if they will work at it. If you are stubborn, use that to your advantage. Be stubborn about doing what you need to, to be healthy. 

You are a healthy person, and you can do hard things.